If You Do These 3 Things, You Might Be A Plant Killer

 

Can’t keep a house plant alive? You’re not alone. In fact, you might be one of millions of plant killers across the globe. Read on to be sure.

1. You sheepishly utter the euphemism, “I don’t have a green thumb.”

Let’s just call it how it is, people. You’re probably a plant killer.

2. You leave the shades down all day.

Who are you, Count Dracula? Give those succulents some light. It’ll be good for you too, you plant killing monster.

3. You always remember to have a drink, but you never share with poor Ms. Basil over there.

If you can pour a drink, you can grow a plant. Just make sure Ms. Basil gets water. Not alcohol.

How to End Your Murder Spree

I hope you have read this far and concluded that you are NOT in fact a plant killer. If the opposite is true, read on for a list of recovery plans.

Plan A: Hide your non-green thumbs in shame.

Hiding your non-green thumbs has been known to suppress constant reminders of inadequate gardening skill. If this is your recovery plan of choice, I recommend procuring two thimbles immediately.

Plan B: The Plant Killer Support Group

More commonly referred to as HAMAMA. HAMAMA knows your pain. We’ve created a line of easy home gardening products for people just like you. Seriously, we’ve made it impossible to fail. Become a HAMAMA member by visiting www.hamama.cc/subscribe to join this growing community of easy gardening enthusiasts.

 

By Camille R.